The Twilight Saga 3: Eclipse Chapter 5. IMPRINT

ARE YOU OKAY, JAKE? CHARLIE SAID YOU WERE HAVING a hard time. . . . Isnt it getting any better?His warm submit curled around mine. S not so bad, he said, but he wouldnt meet my eyeball.He walked slowly back to the drif cardinalod bench, staring at the rainbow-colored pebbles, and pulling me along at his side. I sat back down on our tree, but he sat on the wet, rocky ground rather than next to me. I wondered if it was so that he could hide his brass to a greater extent easily. He kept my hand.I started babbling to fillthe silence. Its been so long since I was here. Ive probably missed a ton of things. How are surface-to-air missile and Emily? And Embry? Did Quil -?I broke moody mid-sentence, remembering that Jacobs friend Quil had been a sensitive subject.Ah, Quil, Jacob sighed.So then it must seduce happened Quil must crap join the pack.Im sorry, I mumbled.To my surprise, Jacob snorted. Dont translate that to him.What do you mean?Quils not tactile propertying for pity. an d the opposite hes jazzed. Totally thrilled.This made no sense to me. All the sassy(prenominal) wolves had been so depressed at the idea of their friend sharing their fate. Huh?Jacob tilted his head back to find out at me. He smiled and furled his eye.Quil thinks its the coolest thing thats ever happened to him. cave in of it is finally geting whats release on. And hes excited to have his friends back to be part of the in crowd. Jacob snorted again. Shouldnt be surprised, I guess. Its so Quil.He comparables it?H hotshotstly . . . honest ab extinct of them do, Jacob admitted slowly. There are definitely good sides to this the speed, the freedom, the strength . . . the sense of of family. . . . surface-to-air missile and I are the moreover ones who ever felt unfeignedly bitter. And surface-to-air missile got come forth discharge that a long time ago. So Im the crybaby now. Jacob laughed at himself.There were so many things I indispensablenessed to know. Why are you and Sam polar? What happened to Sam anyway? Whats his problem? The questions tumbled out without room to answer them, and Jacob laughed again.Thats a long story.I told you a long story. Besides, Im not in any flush to get back, I said, and then I grimaced as I thought of the trouble I would be in.He looked up at me swiftly, hearing the reprize edge in my words. Will he be mad at you?Yes, I admitted. He really hates it when I do things he considers . . . risky.Like respite out with werewolves.Yeah.Jacob shrugged. So dont go back. Ill sleep on the couch.Thats a great idea, I grumbled. Because then he would come looking for me.Jacob stiffened, and then smiled bleakly. Would he?If he was afraid I was wounded or something probably.My ideas sounding better all the time.Please, Jake. That really bugs me.What does?That you two are so ready to kill each other I complained. It set ups me crazy. Why cant you both just be civilized?Is he ready to kill me? Jacob asked with a grim smile, unconcerned by my anger.Not care you seem to be I realized I was yelling. At least he can be a grown-up nearly this. He knows that hurting you would hurt me and so he never would. You dont seem to care about that at allYeah, counterbalance, Jacob muttered. Im sure hes quite the pacifist.Ugh I ripped my hand out of his and shoved his head outside. accordingly I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms tightly around them.I glared out toward the horizon, fuming.Jacob was quiet for a few minutes. Finally, he got up off the ground and sat beside me, putting his arm around my shoulders. I shook it off.Sorry, he said quietly. Ill demonstrate to behave myself.I didnt answer.Do you still want to hear about Sam? he offered.I shrugged.Like I said, its a long story. And very . . . strange. Therere so many strange things about this new life. I havent had time to tell you the half of it. And this thing with Sam well, I dont know if Ill even be able to explain it right.His words pricked my curiosity in spite of my irritation.Im listening, I said stiffly.Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the side of his face pull up in a smile.Sam had it so oftentimes harder than the rest of us. Because he was the first, and he was alone, and he didnt have anyone to tell him what was happening. Sams grandfather died before he was born, and his father has never been around. There was no one thither to recognize the signs. The first time it happened the first time he phased he thought hed gone insane. It took him two weeks to calm down enough to swap back.This was before you came to Forks, so you wouldnt remember. Sams mother and Leah Clearwater had the forest rangers searching for him, the police. People thought there had been an accident or something. . . .Leah? I asked, surprised. Leah was Harrys daughter. Hearing her name sent an spontaneous surge of pity through me. Harry Clearwater, Charlies life-long friend, had died of a heart attack this past spring.His voice ch anged, became heavier. Yeah. Leah and Sam were proud school sweethearts. They started dating when she was just a freshman. She was frantic when he disappeared.But he and Emily -Ill get to that its part of the story, he said. He inhaled slowly, and then exhaled in a gust.I suppositional it was silly for me to think that Sam had never loved anyone before Emily. Most people fall in and out of love many times in their lives. It was just that Id seen Sam with Emily, and I couldnt imagine him with someone else. The way he looked at her . . . well, it reminded me of a look Id seen sometimes in Edwards eyes when he was looking at me.Sam came back, Jacob said, but he wouldnt talk to anyone about where hed been. Rumors flew that he was up to no good, mostly. And then Sam happened to run in to Quils grandfather one afternoon when doddering Quil Ateara came to visit Mrs. Uley. Sam shook his hand. Old Quil just about had a stroke. Jacob pa apply to laugh.Why?Jacob put his hand on my cheek and pulled my face around to look at him he was leaning toward me, his face was just a few inches away. His palm burned my skin, like he had a fever.Oh, right, I said. It was uncomfortable, having my face so close to his with his hand hot against my skin. Sam was running a temperature.Jacob laughed again. Sams hand felt like hed left it sitting on a hot stovetop.He was so close, I could feel his warm breath. I reached up casually, to take his hand away and free my face, but wound my fingers through his so that I wouldnt hurt his feelings. He smiled and leaned back, undeceived by my attempt at nonchalance.So Mr. Ateara went straight to the other elders, Jacob went on. They were the only ones left who still knew, who remembered. Mr. Ateara, baton, and Harry had actually seen their grandfathers bedevil the change.When Old Quil told them, they met with Sam secretly and explained. It was easier when he understood when he wasnt alone anymore. They knew he wouldnt be the onlyone affec ted by the Cullens return he pronounced the name with unconscious bitterness but no one else was old enough. So Sam waited for the rest of us to join him. . . .The Cullens had no idea, I said in a whisper. They didnt think that werewolves still existed here. They didnt know that coming here would change you.It doesnt change the fact that it did.Remind me not to get on your bad side.You think I should be as forgiving as you are? We cant all be saints and martyrs.Grow up, Jacob.I wish I could, he murmured quietly.I stared at him, trying to make sense of his response. What?Jacob chuckled. One of those many strange things I mentioned.You . . . cant . . . grow up? I said blankly. Youre what? Not . . . agedness? Is that a joke?Nope. He popped his lips on the P.I felt blood flood my face. Tears tears of rage filled my eyes. My teeth mashed together with an hearable grinding sound.Bella? What did I say?I was on my feet again, my hands balled up into fists, my whole frame shaking.You. A re. Not. Aging, I growled through my teeth.Jacob tugged my arm gently, trying to make me sit. none of us are. Whats wrong with you?Am I the only one who has to get old? I get older every stinking day I nearly shrieked, throwing my hands in the air. Some little part of me recognized that I was throwing a Charlie-esque fit, but that rational part was greatly overshadowed by the anomalous part. Damn it What sweet of world is this? Wheres the justice?Take it easy, Bella.Shut up, Jacob. Just shut up This is so unfairDid you seriously just stamp your tooshie? I thought girls only did that on TV.I growled unimpressively.Its not as bad as you seem to think it is. Sit down and Ill explain.Ill stand.He rolled his eyes. Okay. Whatever you want. But listen, I will get older . . . someday.Explain.He patted the tree. I glowered for a second, but then sat my temper had burned out as suddenly as it had flared and Id calmed down enough to realize that I was making a fool of myself.When we get eno ugh control to quit . . . , Jacob said. When we chequer phasing for a solid length of time, we age again. Its not easy. He shook his head, abruptly doubtful. Its gonna take a really long time to learn that kind of restraint, I think. Even Sams not there yet. Course it doesnt help that theres a huge coven of vampires right down the road. We cant even think about quitting when the tribe necessitate protectors. But you shouldnt get all bent out of shape about it, anyway, because Im already older than you, physically at least.What are you talking about? confront at me, Bells. Do I look sixteen?I glanced up and down his mammoth frame, trying to be unbiased. Not exactly, I guess.Not at all. Because we reach full growth inside of a few months when the werewolf gene gets triggered. Its one hell of a growth spurt. He made a face. Physically, Im probably twenty-five or something. So theres no need for you to freak out about being too old for me for at least another(prenominal) seven years.T wenty-five or something. The idea messed with my head. But I remembered that growth spurt I remembered watching him shoot up and fill out right before my eyes. I remembered how he would look different from one day to the next. . . . I shook my head, feeling dizzy.So, did you want to hear about Sam, or did you want to scream at me some more for things that are out of my control?I took a deep breath. Sorry. Age is a touchy subject for me. That bump into a nerve.Jacobs eyes tightened, and he looked as if he were trying to decide how to word something.Since I didnt want to talk about the truly touchy stymie my plans for the future, or treaties that might be broken by said plans, I prompted him. So once Sam understood what was going on, once he had Billy and Harry and Mr. Ateara, you said it wasnt so hard anymore. And, like you also said, there are the cool parts. . . . I hesitated briefly. Why does Sam hate them so much? Why does he wish I would hate them?Jacob sighed. This is the r eally weird part.Im a pro at weird.Yeah, I know. He grinned before he continued. So, youre right. Sam knew what was going on, and everything was almost okay. In most ways, his life was back to, well, not normal. But better. Then Jacobs expression tightened, like something painful was coming. Sam couldnt tell Leah. We arent supposed to tell anyone who doesnt have to know. And it wasnt really safe for him to be around her but he c lighted, just like I did with you. Leah was furious that he wouldnt tell her what was going on where hed been, where he went at night, wherefore he was always so exhausted but they were working it out. They were trying. They really loved each other.Did she materialise out? Is that what happened?He shook his head. No, that wasnt the problem. Her cousin, Emily Young, came down from the Makah reservation to visit her one weekend.I gasped. Emily is Leahs cousin?Second cousins. Theyre close, though. They were like sisters when they were kids.Thats . . . horr ible. How could Sam . . . ? I trailed off, shaking my head.Dont judge him just yet. Did anyone ever tell you . . . Have you ever heard of imprinting?Imprinting? I repeated the unfamiliar word. No. Whats that mean?Its one of those bizarre things we have to deal with. It doesnt happen to everyone. In fact, its the rare exception, not the rule. Sam had heard all the stories by then, the stories we all used to think were legends. Hed heard of imprinting, but he never dreamed . . .What is it? I prodded.Jacobs eyes strayed to the ocean. Sam did love Leah. But when he saw Emily, that didnt matter anymore. Sometimes . . . we dont exactly know why . . . we find our mates that way. His eyes flashed back to me, his face reddening. I mean . . . our soul mates.What way? Love at first sight? I snickered.Jacob wasnt smiling. His dark eyes were critical of my reaction. Its a little bit more powerful than that. More absolute.Sorry, I muttered. Youre serious, arent you?Yeah, I am.Love at first sight? But more powerful? My voice still sounded dubious, and he could hear that.Its not easy to explain. It doesnt matter, anyway. He shrugged indifferently. You wanted to know what happened to Sam to make him hate the vampires for changing him, to make him hate himself. And thats what happened. He broke Leahs heart. He went back on every promise hed ever made her. Every day he has to see the care in her eyes, and know that shes right.He stopped talking abruptly, as if hed said something he hadnt meant to.How did Emily deal with this? If she was so close to Leah . . . ? Sam and Emily were utterly right together, two puzzle pieces, shaped for each other exactly. Still . . . how had Emily gotten past the fact that hed belonged to someone else? Her sister, almost.She was real angry, in the beginning. But its hard to resist that level of fealty and adoration. Jacob sighed. And then, Sam could tell her everything. There are no rules that can bind you when you find your other half. You know how she got hurt?Yeah. The story in Forks was that she was mauled by a bear, but I was in on the secret.Werewolves are unstable, Edward had said. The people near them get hurt.Well, weirdly enough, that was sort of how they resolved things. Sam was so horrified, so sickened by himself, so full of hate for what hed done. . . . He would have thrown himself under a bus if it would have made her feel better. He might have anyway, just to escape what hed done. He was shattered. . . . Then, somehow, she was the one comforting him, and after that. . . .Jacob didnt finish his thought, and I sensed the story had gotten too personal to share. abject Emily, I whispered. Poor Sam. Poor Leah. . . .Yeah, Leah got the worst end of the stick, he agreed. She puts on a brave face. Shes going to be a bridesmaid.I gazed away, toward the jagged rocks that rose from the ocean like stubby broken-off fingers on the south rim of the harbor, while I tried to make sense of it all. I could feel his eyes on my face, waiting for me to say something.Did it happen to you? I finally asked, still looking away. This love-at-first-sight thing?No, he answered briskly. Sam and Jared are the only ones.Hmm, I said, trying to sound only courteously interested. I was relieved, and I tried to explain my reaction to myself. I decided I was just glad he didnt claim there was some mystical, wolfy friendship between the two of us. Our relationship was confusing enough as it was. I didnt need any more of the supernatural than I already had to deal with.He was quiet, too, and the silence felt a little awkward. My intuition told me that I didnt want to hear what he was thinking.How did that work out for Jared? I asked to break the silence.No period of play there. It was just a girl hed sat next to in school every day for a year and never looked at twice. And then, after he changed, he saw her again and never looked away. Kim was thrilled. Shed had a huge crush on him. Shed had his last name tacked on to the end of hers all over in her diary. He laughed mockingly.I frowned. Did Jared tell you that? He shouldnt have.Jacob bit his lip. I guess I shouldnt laugh. It was funny, though.Some soul mate.He sighed. Jared didnt tell us anything on purpose. I already told you this part, remember?Oh, yeah. You can hear each others thoughts, but only when youre wolves, right?Right. Just like your bloodsucker. He glowered.Edward, I corrected.Sure, sure. Thats how come I know so much about how Sam felt. Its not like he would have told us all that if hed had a choice. Actually, thats something we all hate. The bitterness was abruptly fierce in his voice. Its awful. No privacy, no secrets. Everything youre ashamed of, laid out for everyone to see. He shuddered.It sounds horrible, I whispered.It is sometimes helpful when we need to coordinate, he said grudgingly. Once in a blue moon, when some bloodsucker crosses into our territory. Laurent was fun. And if the Cullens hadnt gotten in our way last Saturd ay . . . ugh he groaned. We could have had her His fists clenched into angry balls.I flinched. As much as I worried about Jasper or Emmett getting hurt, it was nothing like the panic I felt at the idea of Jacob going up against Victoria. Emmett and Jasper were the encompassing(prenominal) thing to indestructible I could imagine. Jacob was still warm, still comparatively kind-hearted. Mortal. I thought of Jacob facing Victoria, her brilliant hair blowing around her oddly feline face . . . and shuddered.Jacob looked up at me with a curious expression. But isnt it like that for you all the time? Having him in your head?Oh, no. Edwards never in my head. He only wishes.Jacobs expression became confused.He cant hear me, I explained, my voice a tiny bit smug from old habit. Im the only one like that, for him. We dont know why he cant.Weird, Jacob said.Yeah. The smugness faded. It probably means theres something wrong with my brain, I admitted.I already knew there was something wrong with your brain, Jacob muttered.Thanks.The sun broke through the clouds suddenly, a surprise I hadnt been expecting, and I had to narrow my eyes against the glare off the water. Everything changed color the waves turned from gray to blue, the trees from dull olive to brilliant jade, and the rainbow-hued pebbles glittered like jewels.We squinted for a moment, letting our eyes adjust. There were no sounds besides the hollow roar of the waves that echoed from every side of the sheltered harbor, the soft grinding of the stones against each other under the waters movement, and the cry of gulls high overhead. It was very peaceful.Jacob settled closer to me, so that he was leaning against my arm. He was so warm. After a minute of this, I shrugged out of my rain jacket. He made a little sound of contentment in the back of his throat, and rested his cheek on the top of my head. I could feel the sun heat my skin thought it was not quite as warm as Jacob and I wondered idly how long it would ta ke me to burn.Absentmindedly, I twisted my right hand to the side, and watched the sunlight glitter subtly off the scar James had left there.What are you thinking about? he murmured.The sun.Mmm. Its nice.What are you thinking about? I asked.He chuckled to himself. I was remembering that moronic movie you took me to. And Mike Newton puking all over everything.I laughed, too, surprised by how time had changed the memory. It used to be one of stress, of confusion. So much had changed that night. . . . And now I could laugh. It was the last night Jacob and I had had before hed learned the truth about his heritage. The last human memory. An oddly pleasant memory now.I miss that, Jacob said. The way it used to be so easy . . . uncomplicated. Im glad Ive got a good memory. He sighed.He felt the sudden tension in my body as his words triggered a memory of my own.What is it? he asked.About that good memory of yours . . . I pulled away from him so that I could read his face. At the moment, it was confused. Do you mind telling me what you were doing Monday morning? You were thinking something that bothered Edward. Bothered wasnt quite the word for it, but I wanted an answer, so I thought it was best not to start out too severely.Jacobs face brightened with understanding, and he laughed. I was just thinking about you. Didnt like that much, did he?Me? What about me?Jacob laughed, with a harder edge this time. I was remembering the way you looked that night Sam found you Ive seen it in his head, and its like I was there that memory has always haunted Sam, you know. And then I remembered how you looked the first time you came to my place. I bet you dont even realize what a mess you were then, Bella. It was weeks before you started to look human again. And I remembered how you always used to have your arms wrapped around yourself, trying to hold yourself together. . . . Jacob winced, and then shook his head. Its hard for me to remember how piteous you were, and it wasnt my fault. So I figured it would be harder for him. And I thought he ought to get a look at what hed done.I smacked his shoulder. It hurt my hand. Jacob Black, dont you ever do that again Promise me you wont.No way. I havent had that much fun in months.So help me, Jake -Oh, get a grip, Bella. When am I ever going to see him again? Dont worry about it.I got to my feet, and he caught my hand as I started to walk away. I tried to tug free.Im leaving, Jacob.No, dont go yet, he protested, his hand tightening around mine. Im sorry. And . . . okay, I wont do it again. Promise.I sighed. Thanks, Jake.Come on, well go back to my house, he said eagerly.Actually, I think I really do need to go. Angela Weber is expecting me, and I know Alice is worried. I dont want to upset her too much.But you just got hereIt feels that way, I agreed. I glared up at the sun, somehow already directly overhead. How had the time passed so quickly?His eyebrows pulled down over his eyes. I dont know when Ill see you aga in, he said in a hurt voice.Ill come back the next time hes away, I promised impulsively.Away? Jacob rolled his eyes. Thats a nice way to describe what hes doing. Disgusting parasites.If you cant be nice, I wont come back at all I threatened, trying to pull my hand free. He refused to let go.Aw, dont be mad, he said, grinning. Knee-jerk reaction.If Im going to try to come back again, youre going to have to get something straight, okay?He waited.See, I explained. I dont care whos a vampire and whos a werewolf. Thats irrelevant. You are Jacob, and he is Edward, and I am Bella. And nothing else matters.His eyes narrowed slightly. But I am a werewolf, he said unwillingly. And he is a vampire, he added with straightforward revulsion.And Im a Virgo I shouted, exasperated.He raised his eyebrows, measuring my expression with curious eyes. Finally, he shrugged.If you can really see it that way . . .I can. I do.Okay. Just Bella and Jacob. None of those freaky Virgos here. He smiled at me, th e warm, familiar smile that I had missed so much. I felt the answering smile spread crossways my face.Ive really missed you, Jake, I admitted impulsively.Me, too, his smile widened. His eyes were happy and clear, free for once of the angry bitterness. More than you know. Will you come back soon?As soon as I can, I promised.